Friday, August 5, 2011

Digging Out the Weeds.

No one likes to be proven wrong or be made to realize their hypocritical nature. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how one looks at it), I’ve faced many of these moments in the past few days; humbling and sometimes downright discouraging. It’s difficult to be reminded of our weaknesses.

I have trouble with being too negative in most situations. I usually lean toward suspicion and belief in the worst possible outcome. Many people are like this; that is nothing new. We also can justify our point of view quickly. “I’m a realist not a pessimist.”, “Well the upside of my pessimism is I’m almost always pleasantly surprised with the outcome of any situation.” Endless statements to justify my poor attitude.

But still it isn’t an attitude I should align myself with. My words promote a hopeful attitude in each day and a faith that God can give us the tools to use any situation for the best possible result. However, my actions tend to speak the opposite.

I can point to where most of this negativity stems from. Most negativity originates in the insecurities I have about life. I didn’t have many friends growing up. I was made fun of relentlessly throughout school. I also wasn’t terribly close with my family until I moved out and started college. My suspicion of people runs deep. I’m quick to believe the worst and don’t hesitate to take things personally many others would not.

I can’t continue to use this as an excuse. The past is the past. The world is not out to get me.

In the past couple of days I’ve have a co-worker draw my attention to my attitude. He let me 
know I’m not really practicing what I am preaching and that I’m really the only one who is probably out to get me.


My immediate reaction is anger. Not anger with my co-worker, but anger with myself. I know he is right. I’ve been walking around spewing negativity like a spoiled child. Then sobering disappointment with myself crawls in like a rainstorm. I reflect on the countless mornings I’ve talked myself up; trying to convince myself today will be better. Today I’ll be better.

The questions remain; what must I do to actually be proactive in changing my attitude? How do I deal with the daily failure and not let it defeat me? How do I not defeat myself?

I’m going to try; take an active part in my attitude. I believe that remaining humble is a large factor in success. If I can let go of the hurt and pain that leaves me feeling entitled to an easy life then I can view every situation differently. Secondly, it’s a question of maturity. I still have a lot of growing to do as an individual. I also think adopting more prayer and meditation can help. But mostly it’s about developing an inner dialogue with myself; being mindful of the difference between my slanted perception and actual reality.  It’s painful; it sucks but it’s worth it.

I encourage you to humble yourself. Dig deep for the weeds that you’ve allowed to grow unchecked in your heart.  And in the mean time pray for me while I pray for you. Life is too grand to remain in the same stagnate state of being.

Let us grow and take pleasure in life.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A Soapbox Moment.

I spent part of my morning watching The 700 Club, which usually gets my blood boiling.
 Rightly so? I’m not sure.

Regardless, the show causes a type of soapbox fever to come over me and I feel the urgent need to react.

Are they always wrong? No, I’m sure they aren’t. And I’m not always right!

Unfortunately, having a decent point is destroyed when you take such a pompous, divisive stance. We see this on both sides. Left and Right.

The first 15 minutes of the program was dedicated to the financial crisis. This is an incredibly important subject but I feel like most outlets in the Christian media address the subject improperly. Money and only money was the subject; how we’re running out, spending it wrongly, and how in months financial meltdown will ensue. This country will become a third world nation in no time.

They aren’t saying anything I haven’t said before. In fact I said almost the same thing a few nights ago. Only when I give into doubt and negativity I have friends who reprimand me, challenge my tone, and ask me to put my hope in Christ. They convict me to be better. Every day is a challenge to not despair and walk in hope.

My biggest problem is these programs do not have that same system. They accuse others of fear mongering yet they themselves spell out doomsday theories for America. They exclaim the rights the religious movement is losing and how soon, Christians won’t be able to function in society. I listened to the worry in their voice as the subject of tax hikes entered the conversation. Why the worry? Why fear? You work on a television program; you have a house and food.

This kind of worry isn’t right when I do it. It isn’t right when they do it.

God cares for the world. It’s a screwed up place because of our selfish pursuits but God still cares for the world.

We will get what we need; not always what w want but what we need.

Christians and the programs we subscribe to need to stop worrying about all the things that we have; things, which by scriptural concept weren’t ours to begin with. If the very breath of life and the food we eat is a blessing then what are the material things we enjoy? Blessings upon Blessings.

Accountability should be prevalent in the community concerning this subject. The less we worry about our discomfort the more we can concern ourselves with more important crises. The famine in Somalia, the countless children in this country who go hungry every night, or the young girls sold into sex trafficking rings. (None of these subjects were touched on in the current events segment of the show while several stories demonizing democrats and gays were.)

Let’s stand up and ask the programs, believing in the same God we do, to speak better and more responsibly. Ask them to humble themselves because in the end it is their pomposity that makes them distasteful.  

And though I disagree with many things these programs broadcast I can still be grateful for the Grace that we both have the freedom of opinion. Also, that we both have the same goal in mind; to touch the world with the love Christ has changed us with.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


Stop for just a moment and be grateful.

Today I spent most of the early afternoon upset; cleaning my kitchen. My mind tends to race when I’m angered or worried. It spins about, jumping from one subject to the next without taking a breath to properly react to the issue.

My computer’s mouse pad is unresponsive.
How much more will the cost of living go up?
I’m sick of cleaning this damn kitchen.
I hate my job.
I’m tired of paying back college debt.
The whole world seems like it’s falling apart completely.

On and on and on until I can’t do much but watch all these anxieties build up. They compile until I swear I see Destruction strolling down the street on his way to pay me a visit: doom at my doorstep.
It’s hard to break this pattern of thought. But then, gently, a different thought snuck in;
At least I have a kitchen to clean.

I stopped and smiled.

I have a kitchen to clean. I have 10 dollars to purchase a USB mouse for my computer. I have a job that’s paying my bills. The world’s problems are too large for me to fix alone but there are small things I can do.

These different thoughts came flooding in and I realized I had nothing to be upset about. Worry entices us to despair, condemning us to fixate on the unpredictability of the future. In it we only see what we don’t have, won’t do, or can’t be. Worry is a dangerous thing. We quickly forget that today is all that we have. Right now. It’s all you’ve got. Seconds could pass from now and a piano could plunge through your roof and crush you dead where you sit. We only have the moment we exist in. Why spend it worrying about the things that aren’t promised. As I’ve always tried to say: The sun will come up tomorrow and if it doesn’t, we’re going to have more important issues to worry about.

So take the time spent worrying and use it elsewhere. Try loving more, creating, laughing, or simply being grateful because we have breath in our lungs, a place to sleep, and food to eat. We could, more importantly, spend it helping those who aren’t afforded those luxuries.

Try it, this being grateful business. We aren’t perfect; we will fail at times but try it.
Stop for a moment and be grateful.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

It's true, I'm a terrible blogger.

Like the title states. I'm pretty much terrible at keeping with blogging and not only that, but keeping with projects in general. I never quite finish anything that I begin. But do not fear, I've resolved to change this. There will be several upcoming entries for this blog as well as an entirely new blog consisting of movie reviews

Keep your eyes open for new entries on their way!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Wake Up!

     I find it fitting to begin the first "true" post with the idea of waking up. The image of rising from sleep of course brings with it the suggestion of a beginning. It also, of course, echoes the title of this blog.

    But before I enter into the main subject of this post I'd like the preface it with a little about the events that, in a way, inspired the following thoughts.

    I recently picked up the new book "Love Wins" by Rob Bell. I wished to read this book mainly for the controversy that it has caused within the Christian community. One thing I've come to learn about myself is how I do enjoy controversy. I appreciate things that cause disquiet among its audience; believing that it fosters conversation. When space is allowed for conversation, many important events can transpire, countless things can be learned. 
   So I began this book and I'm startled at the conviction I have found within it; the conviction it's created in me. The book caused me to the reevaluate the way in which I live. I won't go into to detail about the contents of “Love Wins" in this post, perhaps in the future. Just know that Bell's words provoked me to introspection which led to the following words.

     We must wake up! Myself included. We must make ourselves new every day.
     You see. I've spent the majority of my life in darkness; a perpetual state of gloom. Even after all I have learned and the immeasurable amount of Grace I've received, I still succumb daily to the negativity I've made a close companion for years. 
     I struggle to live in hope.
    This world struggles to live in hope.
    This must change.
    We can mourn our lost humanity all we want but without taking hold of our righteous anger and acting against injustice, it's all in vain. We must hope, and act with it.
    What I am trying to convey is this idea that mankind has a problem with letting all the bad in the world and in himself weigh him down, discourage him, and produce in him a hopeless apathy. This despair then allows the injustices of the world to run amok. 
     We must wake up!
     We must ask God to breathe new life into us daily; allowing him to break and reform us, like a fractured bone reset to be made strong again. My desire, my hope is that we can be rebuilt daily; made into a more durable structure less likely to be compromised. A monument to the hope and love of Christ.
      This can start today. And although our consistent failure is a reality, we will be picked back up. We will wake and rise again with a Hope, Grace, and Love that sustains us.

Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, 
O God, you will not despise"

Peace be with you.


Monday, April 18, 2011

A place.

A place for thoughts and opinions. A place for encouragement. A place which delves into the soul of humanity.
Stick with Me.